Gerald the tank.

One day, there was a tank called Gerald. He was mocked by ALL the other tanks, because unlike them, he had only blown up SEVEN terrorists, as he was only a baby tank.

Gerald decided to destroy the world, because he felt like it. But first, he needed... AN UPGRADE! so he painted Go Faster stripes on himself somehow and glued a mannequin to his insides so it looked like he was being driven by it.

With these super-hyper-realistic upgrades in place, Gerald set out to destroy the world! (As soon as someone unlocked the garage door and left it open for him)

Once the garage door was unlocked and left open by Gerald's human accomplice, Womples, Gerald stormed out of the hanger, and dastardly... fell into a pothole

Clearly, this was a despicable plot by THE MAN, to keep him down. Probably orchestrated by the FBI or CIA, because surely, they were the only people with the money and power to even ATTEMPT to stop him!

Eventually, Gerald managed to drive out of the pothole by pushing himself with his turret, whilst the mannequin just stood there, and didn't even TRY to help it's master!

Gerald eventually managed to destroy a city, by dastardly crashing into a dam completely-on-purpose, and flooding it. His next target? The White House! He was going to launch Joey the Nuke!

Gerald and Joey knew eachother from their days in college, where they had met when Gerald was chugging a barrel of vodka down HIS (gun) barrel! Joey had always been the bomb at school, and with Gerald's new found chugging fame, they soon became fast friends.

After disguising the mannequin as the President by doodling a moustache on him, Gerald was admitted to the White House under his designation as "The President's armored mobile unit", and when he reached the Oval Office, he saw the last thing that could stand in his way... The President of the United States of America.

Facing his mortal enemy, who had TECHNICALLY never interacted even indirectly with Gerald, but he felt he needed a mortal enemy, Gerald pushed a sign out of his turret which said "This is a dream. Go away.", and the bemused and confused President toddled off to bed, leaving the nuclear button case unlocked (He had been flicking it on and off to amuse himself)

Gerald bravely drove over to the button, and jabbed at it with his barrel. A robotic voice immediately started counting down to the imminent explosion of nukes (including Joey), that were conveniently placed in places that would destroy everything and everyone but Gerald!